I don't know if it happens only with me, but I have experienced this quite a few times. I am thinking something, but when I speak it out, it takes a totally different, many times almost opposite meaning! This post is an account of such incidents, some hilarious, some awkward, which I still recollect..
"Uncle, when are you leaving?"
This one's from my childhood, I guess the oldest that I still distinctly remember... One of my Dad's friend was visiting us. He was very friendly and had kept us entertained throughout that evening with his funny stories and jokes. Next morning, I was about to leave for my school and before I said bye to this uncle, I asked him, "Uncle, when are you leaving?" He gave me a surprised look. I didn't realise, what did I say so wrong! And then he called out to my Dad, "See, your daughter is pretty honest! She wants me to leave!" Haah! I didn't mean that!! In fact what I wanted to know was whether he'll still be there to tell us more stories when we come back from school.
"Chashma bhi nahi toota!"
Here's another one... One of my childhood friends had given me a ride on her Luna. We were heading towards her house. She was all set for her 12th exams and we were probably discussing about what we'll do once she is done with her exams. I was all excited. I was teasing her about something and I think I tickled her, not realizing that she was still driving. She was taken by surprise and she took her both hands off the Luna handle! Then what! The ancient Luna wobbled for few seconds, lost the balance and we were all on the ground, the rear wheel still rotating! I could get up quickly, not much damage, but my friend took the major hit! I was shaking. While helping her up I said, "Chashma bhi nahi toota!" Her face went all red! She fumed at me, "What do you mean, chashma bhi nahi toota, aur kya kya todne ka irada tha??" Ooops!! What I actually wanted to say was 'Thank God! Chashma nahi toota!' I remember after that I had to really work hard to get back in her good books.. No, to be absolutely correct, in her Mom's good books. I remember Aunty was really cross. She thought I did it on purpose and why wont she think that ways? My brilliant statement leaves no doubt!
This one's actually for acting my thoughts out rather than using words.. My grandma had peeled a pomegranate plucked from our garden and had separated the arils and placed them in a bowl. So all the hard work was already done! The bowl full of rubby red pomegranate arils was looking really tempting! I gave a sneaky look (I knew Mom was watching), picked the bowl and started popping the arils in my mouth hurriedly. Immediately mom yelled out, "How can you be so selfish!" Hah? Selfish? I just wanted to say, 'they are too tempting! I'll finish them off if you leave the bowl here!' I guess, I relied too much on my acting skills! It didn't even occur to me that my expressive act can convey a totally wrong impression!
"There are hot bhajiis next to the Stove!"
And then when I had thought I was done with all such communication goof-ups, recently there was an addition... I had invited all my friends home for a small get-together. It was late afternoon and the plan was to serve hot onion bhajjis along with tea. The batter was all ready and my maid had started frying the bhajjis. I had started preparing tea on the second stove. Just then one of my friend called out saying she doesn't eat onion bhajjis and asked me to get some potato fries. I said, "Ok, should not be a problem!" I served the tea and also the bhajjis were ready on the dinning table. Everyone started having them and the chit-chat continued. In the mean time I had peeled off some potatoes and I told my maid to fry the potato bhajjis next once the current lot of onion bhajjis was done. I was myself picking the onion bhajjis from the plate near the stove and when my husband came looking for more bhajjis near the dinning table, I told him the same, "There are hot bhajjis next to the stove". One of my friend immediately taunted, "Kaisi host hai! Humko garam bhajji mat de, bas apne husband ko de!" Oh Damn! I couldn't control my laugh! I am a real idiot! I was creating room for the potato bhajjis which I was about to serve on the same plate, so I did not fill it up with the regular bhajjis, assuming everyone there will have the fresh lot! I tried explaining this later to all, but in vain. They had already got another topic to tease me with!