Creativity of the Subconscious...(6)

I am at the Quarterly event of my company and as usual it had to be full of fun and excitement. We were at the terrace of a pretty tall building. There was some kind of a big setup there - a projection out into the air, some sort of a swing! Each of us had to take this ride, buckle-up to the hook and take a big swing.. wohho!! Going outwards was easy. To get oneself back on the terrace again was the real adventure. If you cant manage to come back with enough force, chances were that you would remain there suspended for ever! Probably this was not enough, for the second round we had to carry another team member on the same ride, just like those circus guys!!!

Oh God! I could hear my teammates cheering me.."Yes, you can do it!" My immediate thought was - who is light enough here? Whom can I carry if I had to? ;) I was just thinking of this and looking around when I saw Khizer smiling at me!

.. and I woke up with the same smile. What a dream! I found it a little strange then, 'coz Khizer and I don't work in the same company any more.

But thinking of it now I can completely figure this out. Few days back I was watching some show on discovery about the best amusement parks around the world. That's the reason for that swing and all jing bang. But there were two other very prominent messages there:
1st - Its been a long time I haven't spoken to this wonderful friend of mine. I have to speak to him now and look, what an opening line I've got here! :P
2nd - Is it already time for next quarterly? let me check with G3 :)

Unbearable Lightness of Being...

Disclaimer: This post is not a review of the above mentioned book. The book is a great piece of work by Milan Kundera, but this post doesn't really talk about it except the Title and its basic idea.

'Unbearable Lightness of Being' - The first time I read this phrase, I said, 'How true!' It was the most concise way of putting the thought that has always troubled me.

Throughout my teenage I kept asking a question to myself and sometimes to others - Whats the purpose of my Life? In fact, what is the purpose of Existence? I remember myself writing somewhere - "Life, of all the things, cannot be left unreasoned. There has to be one, strong enough to drive the entire force."

The answers I got were hard to accept. I kept pondering over them for a long time. Life cannot be meaningless, otherwise it would all be a waste - a negative, which it cannot be. So if it is positive, it cannot be a burden. Hence in due course of time I came to terms with the idea that Existence is light, weightless and the Purpose is to live It with this realization.

Now this second part is what I call unbearable - Living with the realization that existence is light. Even if I know what I know, it is immensely difficult to actually implement. We are so used to associating ourselves with our ambitions, pride, status, that I say, "this is what I am" and suddenly my life becomes heavy, carrying the weight of all that I strive for. If I try to disassociate myself from all these then I think - Whats the point if nothing really matters!

I guess there is a subtle difference between 'what I am' and 'what I exist as'. Let me work more on this thought...

Ironic...

History has proved it over and over and it still prevails. People who are different, who eventually change the course of history are the ones who receive hatred and ridicule through out. Those heads that define a purpose and try to achieve it, are the ones who are labeled "freaks". They who build the world are the ones left alone by the world.

We all do it, knowingly or unknowingly and almost everyday! If someone introduces a new process, our first instinct is to say No. If someone is prompt in his work, we call him "fanatic". If one likes to keep things in order, we call her "crazy". If one wants things to be done right and proper, we say she is asking for too much. It looks like these are minor things, something to make fun of. But they are not. Inside, each one of us knows its dark reality (in a rude way we mock our own incapability and complexes) and real extent. We have this unique capacity to build in shame in a born righteous.

Why is it so difficult to accept that people can think different? Why cant we appreciate intelligence, in the face of it? Why is expecting perfection, asking for too much? Why is a mediocre mind more confident to speak out loud and gain compliance? What makes incompetency a virtue? How can a common belief, though incorrect, turn down biggest of ideas? Whats the force that makes it stand so firm? Does this strength arise from the cumulative of all commons? I guess it builds itself on the foundations of insecurity, cowardice and sloth. Conformity is an easy escape, almost always.

And then we long for a radical change. We hopelessly hope for someone to bring this in (which again we know clearly, is not feasible). Secretly, all of us long for a Super-Hero. But do we really deserve one? Why should we get one when we cant recognize and appreciate the bits of him that are spread all around us!

Smiles all the way...


Today was a special day for some of those cute little faces and twinkling eyes, who had happily wished me, every time I visited them. It was their chance today, to come and peek into my world, feel the enthusiasm and get inspired to reach for it!

Today, on the occasion of 40th anniversary of my company, we had organized sports day for Bellandur govt school students at our campus grounds. With their heads held high and their hearts pumping fast with excitement, they marched from their school and assembled at the new ground in our campus. They had a warm welcome from all the volunteers, most of them proudly wearing "the Blue" and their number giving a proof that we do care!

The event started with a small march-past on the rhythm of well co-ordinated drums. Even the grown-ups couldn't resist the temptation to get back to those sweet, old school days!

Next lined-up were the various sports and games like 100 mts race, one stump cricket, skipping, lemon & spoon and short-put. I was all excited and promptly noting down winners for these games. Winners were all charged-up and everyone was having great fun. Every time some kid came running to me and told me how he/she won, I could feel the call - we are the ones, just give us a chance! I could only smile in acceptance.

In between the games, the students were divided into batches and given a tour to our company's Innovation Lab. It was indeed a great inspiration and a life-time experience for the kids.

Individual games were further followed by a team event - Kho-Kho for girls as well as boys. The entire atmosphere was charged up with loads of energy and competition!

After the lunch, goodies were distributed on the ground before walking up all the kids to the cafeteria for prize distribution ceremony. There again, they were thrilled to get some more surprise gifts. Next, they were served snacks and the proud winners were announced and handed over trophies with lots of applause.

There was a live band performing at the cafeteria, to entertain these young visitors. The band with their peppy numbers quickly cheered-up the tired little bodies and made them hit the floor, literally! Seeing those lively faces and jumpy feet, I think, today I actually saw their hearts sing... "udta hi firun in hawaon mein kahin.. ek kardu aasama aur jammen!"

(PS: Picture taken by a colleague)

Thought over a thought...

Yesterday I heard someone from a nearby cube say, ".... we are already serving a life sentence!" That, sort of philosophical retort, just caught my attention. The deeper implication of what he said is probably true to some extent, but its literal meaning, constrained within the language limits, painted a dark and depressing image right away. "Is it that bad?", I asked myself. With that very question, I had another one, "is it 'bad' in the first place?" It got me thinking...

There's so much happening around us. But I guess what happens within us is the real guiding force that creates our perception of the world outside. What we see, is so much the reflection of what we feel and most importantly what we think. Our thoughts decide the course of our actions and therefore ultimately influence our attitude, perspective, beliefs... everything!

I have experienced this often. If I am troubled by some thought, everybody around seems to be adding to that trouble. On the contrary, if I am happy and excited, the world just appears to be all kind and helping and that further adds up to my morale. Its not just me, I have observed this with lots of other people, friends, colleagues, family members. We all do it! Since childhood, we have been building our own world(by this I mean our own impression of the people and things around). Just that its become so natural that we've lost the distinction as to what causes what.

How I wish, I had this awareness right from my birth! But still, its not difficult. These days I started experimenting a little. If I start getting angry very often or start cribbing about how bad things are going around, the moment I realize this irritation, I try to figure out what is the thought within me that's causing this. Quite often its not difficult to find. It speaks out loud and clear and most of the times it turns out to be Me - I am not happy with myself. Even if its someone else at the front, if I go deeper below, I see myself playing the over-expecting, demanding or indifferent character. Sometimes its not the immediate incident, its a chain and again, I sit at the root of it. When I get myself till this realization, I am already cooled down. The surging emotions get a check and I get a clear picture of the situation. Sometimes there's also regret (Again, this is not to be taken as self-blame, its just taking the ownership/responsibility of actions/reactions happening around me). Otherwise, if its really not my doing, I can clearly detach and it will no longer bother me. But the moment I become aware/conscious of this, everything around which was wrong till then, gets back to normal.

But this doesn't happen always so easily. There are times when I do realize but still the thought is so strong that I have to fight a lot against it. I have not really attained that self-control and awareness where I can quickly realize and get out of that troubling mood. But I strongly believe that consciously, if I keep up this experiment it will gradually become a practice.

Why I find this important is: it not only keeps me calm and poised, it improves my thought quality. When I think, I think clean!

Its amazing the way just one thought can influence our entire outlook. Being aware of this very fact, is the key. If we can watch our thought-chain, we can not only control our interactions with others but also channelize the entire flow towards building a healthy environment around us. There's lot of scope for self-experimentation here. We talk about the unexplored potentials of a human mind, but even before that, we have so many things we already know, to be explored and experimented right.

Coming back to where I started, agreed, we are not here by choice (or may be we did choose). But I believe, This journey is The purpose and we are already empowered with the means. There's lot of right potential reserved and built in us. We have our minds, completely free to innovate and experiment! Therefore, I would rather say, "Its an honor to serve this life sentence!"

Spaghetti

Its been crazy time since I switched continents. Going through so many different moods, ideas, contemplations, I am here yet to completely realize what I am getting myself into. So many things happened in one go, its hard to believe! It sounds fun sometimes and yet another moment its all chaos.

Just few months back, I was relaxing in my cozy little room, happily watching 2-3 movies everyday. My day used to begin with xkcd/reader and a cup of coffee and end with joox. Sometimes I used to fear if this is going to land me in trouble. So, when I got done with school, I was happy to get a little busy! Ahh! But how busy?? Since then I feel I am just running! Marraige, Job, House hunt, settling....There was absolutely no time to just wait and think a bit. Everyday was a mission day!

Some days were really easy, no struggle, no headaches! All the things used to fall in place somehow. Those nights I used to have a blissful sleep! On the contrary some days were meant to try my patience! How much ever I try to be calm and composed, some or the other thing would go wrong and would leave me scratching my head in frustration!

Sometimes I used to just feel confused and full of doubts. Whats happening? Is this worth it? What next? With so many new faces around me, I used to just wonder like a lost kid. Reactions just happened but inside I felt there's a spaghetti of thoughts, trying hard to unwind. Joy, fear, curiosity, anxiety, confusion all in one pack! It used to drive me crazy!

But gradually things are under control I guess! I am settled up both at work and at home. There's more that I want to do on the home front, decor, furniture etc. But I'll do it piece by piece at my own pace..no hurry! Hush! Finally can break for a while! Hopefully thoughts will also!

Later when I'll think of last 2-3 months, I think I will have a good collection for a refreshing laugh!

Expressions...

It was supposed to be just another walk along the beach, being it too late for any water sport. Ashish and I got out of our resort, the backside of which just extended into the Patong beach (Phuket, Thailand). It was getting silent with all umbrellas turned down (during the day time, if you see the view from above, it looked like a multi-colored necklace along the sea-line). Suddenly out of nowhere, there was this guy offering us his Jet-skii for a ride. It was a tempting deal, specially at that time of the day! I looked at Ashish and there was the same twinkle in his eyes!

In no time we were both heading inwards into the sea, away from the beach! There was a cruise at some distance, and my first thought was.. lets reach up there! Earlier the waves were a little too annoying (to be honest, scary!), probably because of the shallow waters (and also because of the fact that we were new at it! :P). But after going in for a while it was fine. With waves splashing at our feet and the sea breeze brushing hard at our faces, together we were on for the ride!

The Sun was almost about to take its leave for the day, leaving behind its traces over the ever enchanting canvas! With those melting colors of orange and red, the sky was taking its own philosophical shade of blue. All other shapes around, were wrapping up in shadows, preparing for a new show. As if, each existence around was saying "Good-bye for now!" in its own unique way!

Then we watched the Sun go down! Even at that speed, it felt so calm and peaceful. Our spirits lifted, both with thrill and content, there was so much we could feel, but no words could put it right and good enough. We just kept silent. I guess, that was the best expression we could have had to acknowledge The Moment!

(Picture: Patong Beach from a random source. It was the one that kind of gave the landscape that I keep remembering. Sad I dint have my cam at that moment.)