Monday, March 29, 2010

Can it even be considered as an Option?

I am currently reading a book and this female character in it is hell-bent on becoming immortal. Even if you love someone so much, that you would want to be with that person forever, can still immortality be something which you would consider? It got me thinking...

I believe, the whole excitement about being alive, about existing, stems from the very basic knowledge - unalterable fact that it is a finite time affair. Imagine, you are looking at a picturesque landscape, standing on a hill top. If it is me, I would definitely be thrilled and excited about it. I would like to absorb as much of it as possible through my senses, not knowing how long it will last or whether I would get to see it again. Having experienced such moments for quite a few times, I would say that the excitement is to a great extent associated with the finiteness of the experience. Had I known that I have an eternity to keep looking at it, will I be that thrilled any more?

It is this basic reasoning that makes me wonder how can the thought of being able to exist forever thrill someone? We have stories from Hindu mythology where kings aspired for immortality. Lets say even if the wish was granted, for how long will that keep one happy? Some or the other finite year-month-day you will have exhausted all the possible 'things to do', you will have mastered all the possible qualities, assuming you used your time in the best possible ways, accumulated immense wealth and power, everything best, whatever can be imagined! Then what? What next? There will be no competition left, no aspiration, no envy, no curiosity, no anxiousness, no boundaries to cross, no thrill and hence you'll have eternity of boredom in front of you! Lets say even if you have the love of your existence with you, wont that thing you share between each other also lose its charm the moment it gets stamped as 'Eternal'? - You would have lost the meaning of it 'coz you wont be able to experience any of the contrasting emotions any longer. Its like a story without an end! Will anyone want to read it? I guess, life with all its beauties, enthralls and excites each one of us only because of the fact deep imprinted in our minds - "This has an end!"

Even if we put some faith in the concept of rebirth and imagine having a life after life and another one.. and another one, it is still not the same! We always get a clean slate to start with. Then I come to think of the soul - it never dies, lets believe. But it cannot experience any feelings or expressions until it fills into a physical form. So technically, it's being eternal doesn't count as long as it has to follow the regular cycle.

Now, coming back to a single life span, as we know, this finiteness brings in limitations. There will always be something which I didn't get to do in one life span. Say, I missed something or got it all wrong. This will keep we wanting to live more. I might sound like a sadist here, but I believe this partial fulfillment is the crux. It is the key to happiness - its like as long as you know there's something more to do, something more to achieve you are happy, you are hopeful! And thats why the end is a necessity. It is one of the essentials to keep us happy about this whole 'existing' business.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

When you feel it inside...


Again I had that feeling, that typical weightless, blankness very much close to the 'suspended from a hook, ready to take in all that comes' type of feeling.. just that this time I was standing back-stage, waiting for our announcement. All my dance partners were holding hands, nervous and exited. Even I was, but there was also a kind of "still", a sort of a "silence" and that was surprising me. I was sure, I had felt the same before, yet couldn't figure it out at that moment.

Our name was announced and we all performed with all smiles and enthusiasm. After the last pose we all bowed and started walking back towards the wings. That was when I actually started realising what it meant.

I was appeased! I had always been - after every performance in school, university, I had felt that "High". This time I was grown up enough to understand it! I was pleased within and that was making everything else silent in me! I was just happy to Be!
Performancing