Expectations...

I was told, "living upto someone's expectations is a real tough task.." and with years adding to my friendship with life, this belief is getting stronger each day. Sometimes I get a feel that this friendship itself is too demanding!

Right from the time you open your eyes, early morning, the mesh of expectations starts building a fresh new thread. You expect your day to be good and interseting. You expect to reach on time and catch the bus. You stand in the ticket line and the person behind you expects that you get done with your stuff as quickly as possible while the one at the counter expects you have the right change and your day begins....There are countless tasks to be accomplished and hence there are countless encounters with different people from different faculties of interests. Each interaction builds up a relationship which has varying degrees of expectations.

The few of these that we are really aware of (or rather are kept aware of) are the ones from our loved ones: family, friends, teachers, bosses (not really fit into 'loved ones category :D ) and I guess that's almost natural in all "humans". The more we know a person there's an unspoken bond that gets stronger by the time and we never realise when we actually start "expecting" out of that relationship. Infact most of them originate on the very foundation of expectation...some realistic some not so realistic.

Normally we are so used to this way of life that we dont even realise it to be the way it is. Its only when these expectations conflict and we have to deal with the pressure, that we start feeling the chain tightening around us. The real tough times are those when Your interests and someone else's expectations collide. There's always a question of either this or that and we wish these words "choice or choose" never existed! We struggle our ways out, sometimes being smart enough to find a trade-off but sometimes its just a feeling of helplessness that stays behind and life goes on..

Leave aside dealings with the world outside, the saying goes perfect with the world within. Doesn't the 'I' expect a lot from 'Me'? I think, the struggle is tougher and more consuming in this inner world. Its me against me. No choice is good enough and nothing gets better. Its like, the more you love yourself the more you hate yourself. You gauge yourself against your own scale and you always have this eternal scope for there are no real boundaries! Thats why probably I find myself completing the statement "...but its tougher to live upto one's own expectations!"