Sunday, July 23, 2006

Dear friend Deepak...

Hey I miss you. Its been a while, I've not spoken to you and today I couldn't get away with those floating memories; had to cage them in words.

Right from our junior KG we've been together, and you've been a darling since then. I guess our senior classes where actually the days when we both realised how much we have in common and how strong the bond has grown. Remember those 10th grade group D questions, how we used to struggle with them, discussing them whole day at school and then on phones from home...[:D]. They were cool! and those chess games, those times when we used to go around meeting professors to start the tutions, those freak out times, tensions, those "put some sense in my head" doses (I was a champ in that![:P]). Remember that day (our 12th) , I had come to your place, woke you up, had breakfast with you and it was after 2 tutions that you realized that it was my birthday! Then on 31st you had come to my place in the with choclates and that whole episode of "take one for my birthday, now take one more coz I forgot your birthday, take one more coz I dint get you a gift..."

You know what, you dont have to give me one, coz You are the gift! I know this is weird, we never had this senti talk and you'll laugh at this...("kya filmi dialog maar rahi hai!!") But its not the first time I felt so..when first time I got away from home, I was in hostel, I used to miss you. There have been many more occasions when I thought "I wish Deepak was here!" Its strange, we have never actually spoken so much to each other in person about what we think and what's going on in our private lives. It was always a practical and material talk! But we always remembered each other, wherever we were, in good times or bad!

I remember my Mom speaking to an aunty one day, "I am just amazed by their friendship!". I couldn't stop smiling! It is truely amazing, two people from totally different family backgrounds, who chose different professions to get on in life, are still holding on to each other with a bond that requires no definition at all!

It never occured to me that its a boy-girl friendship...it was so very natural! I am surprised when generally people take such things the other way. You speak to someone, you find certain things in common, you get along well..but that doesn't really have to be always a "love"-relationship. I speak to a lot of guys, spend lot of time with them, count some as actually good friends and I do care about them. But it doesn't mean they are my "boy-friends" (though Aseem, my friend here at Syracuse likes to maintain a list of all such boy-friends of mine). I dont even know how in the first place that word gained its current meaning.

I had this debate with Aseem once. As he said, in a way its nothing wrong if people take it that way, that is natural, I understand. But the astonishing fact is that, this thought is so strong that some actually convince themselves that there cant be any other relationship that a boy and a girl can share together. Come on! Its a bond, that develops naturally and needs no categorization. It can happen to any two persons. Age, sex no bars! I am not the first person mentioning this. There have been tons of movies and real life episodes. But in general, in reality, hardly few actually see it..and that is disturbing! I have observed this, experienced this..if a boy does something good for a girl, going a little out of way, or tries to help her out with something, she starts getting suspicious...and there are always people around to ask, "Why is he being so good to you haan? [;)]". This is true even vice a versa. Most of the times I agree he/she is actually doing it with the same intentions. But sometimes I have seen, its just because you feel like doing it. Sometimes you talk to a person because you just feel comfortable opening up to him/her. Sometimes its just because you admire a person or you just like a person, nothing beyond that! Its such a beautiful and tender feeling, I cant even describe it, it feels as if, it will lose its meaning the moment I put it in words. You know, its something similar to what you feel when you are alone standing in your balcony, looking at the sky...the same pleasant feeling, soothing and assuring!

I totally agree that its the nature's law that men and women are bound to get attracted to each other in that very special way (after all they together share the burden of keep rolling, the wheels of this world [:D]). Even that is wonderful! But its also so very important to cherish this another subtle gift of nature! It shall be another way of showing how much we love and respect all that is good and pure!

I am glad to have that abstarct precious feeling real and alive!
Cheers to our friendship!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Longing for excitment...


Ya, thats what it is. Every morning I get up and thats what I look for, the attraction point of the day. Its a great day ahead if something interesting is about to happen (or I am expecting to happen) otherwise its just another day. For me, the might of a day is judged on the basis of how exciting and fruitful it is or was. Accomplishments, adventures, surprises make up for the best ones. The more I get these, the better life gets. If I think for a while, its sounds so funny...the whole point of 'being' should hang on to just a tiny thread!

Sometimes I feel its wrong. Life shouldn't hang on to something. It should be a force that drives itself. The truth of existence should be open and independent. The fact, so transparent, that needs no explaination. It should be an end in itself with the ultimate answer to all quests. But in reality (I dont know whats 'real' anymore) it is tinted with all sorts of interpretations and has been paralysed to depend on innumerable ideologies.

But a tiny part of it is still pure and burning in all of us. Thats the one, I guess that pops up everyday. Its a small thread, I know, but it has enough strength to bind all my pieces together and make me go on. He who created this whole facade and left me no clues to reason, shall see me, powered by this tiny flame, lay my tiny pebbles to lead me towrads the Final one!
Performancing